This time last year, our family was in a very different place compared to where we are today. We were knee deep in recovery back then, just like we are now, and were making some pretty amazing progress, but while we had hope (we’ve always had hope), life was just so much harder for us and for Nicholas last year than it has been this year.

Before Nicholas started pre-school in October ’07, our marriage was on rocky ground, really rocky ground. During that year, the “d” word was thrown around quite often when things got to be too much, which they often did. I packed Nicholas and I up and left home the night before our 7th anniversary. That same night, I cracked and literally blurted out to my mother-in-law that Nicholas had autism and that I couldn’t take any of it anymore in the midst of my leaving. Needless to say, it wasn’t one of our better days.

Nicholas was getting better, biomed was definately working, and I did have hope that Nicholas would recover – that was never a doubt in my mind. But the pressure of everything – and the pressure of much of it being on my shoulders was more than any one person could take. Add that to the unrelenting guilt for having taken Nicholas to all of those well-baby visits and holding him down while he was given one shot after another going against the voice in my head that was telling me not to do it.

From working with his first two therapists, who were absolutely wonderful and so instrumental in getting us on the right paths early on, and then getting him started and accustomed to go to school, researching biomed, trying to piece together what actually happened to my beautiful little boy and everything else I had on my plate back then. It was just all too much. Add that to sleepless nights up late researching and being a hermit in my home because taking him anywhere was unbearable for all of us.

It’s true when they say, “What a difference a year makes” – Nicholas’s recovery is snowballing. Every day is better than the one before. There are no more tantrums. He is listening, talking and he’s happy. He’s affectionate. He loves school and his teachers. He just amazes us more and more every day. We can take him places. I am no longer a hermit.

This year, I am thankful for so many things.
– I am thankful for that beautiful little boy we call Nicholas and the smile that has the ability to light up a room.
– I am thankful for having a husband who is on board the biomed-train and doesn’t ever ask what any of this costs. (Yeah, that’s a biggie)
– I am thankful for having parents and in-laws who are also on board our train. I can not even imagine how much harder this would be should any of them not be supportive.
– I am thankful for the loving teacher and aides my son has at school. It is so abundantly clear that they all love him and he loves them too.
– I am thankful for the knowledge and generosity that complete strangers who share the common bond of having an ASD child show towards other parents in need.
– I am thankful for the new friends I have made during this journey, both online and in real life.
– I am thankful for the internet as it has been such a valuable tool during this journey.
– I am thankful for Jaqueline McCandless, Kenneth Bock, Andy Cutler, Brian Jepson, William Shaw and Jon Pangborn for the knowledge they shared with me through their books – the information has truly been priceless.
– I am thankful for Jenny McCarthy, for many reasons, but mostly, because for some reason, I no longer sound like a freak when I talk.
– I am thankful for those individuals who never stop fighting for our kids.
– I am thankful for my big mouth which just can’t stop talking about this – because I know, there are babies and kids out there, who were saved because someone they know eavesdropped on my conversation and it made them do their research FIRST.
– I am thankful for finally being able to hear “mommy” and “I love you” and if I bribe him, I can get him to say “you’re the best mommy in the world”
– I am thankful for those moments where I want to tell him to “shut up” because I have to admit wanting to cry whenever I heard a parent of an NT kid complaining non-stop about how much their kid was talking when minecould not utter a word.
– I am thankful that my son is now so aware of life and isn’t living with blinders on anymore.
– I am thankful for all of the moments in this past year which filled my eyes with tears just watching my son excel and do new things that took me by surprise.
– and finally, I am thankful for a year filled with tremendous progress and healing and am very excited to see what is in store for our future and for his.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Now I know Nicholas hears me just fine when he is in a funk of seeming not having much receptive language, which you all know can happen pretty easily once yeast sets in…..

When Nicholas is not following directions, I will usually say, “I said No” or “I said Come Here” – when he’s not listening to me.

Well, now when no one answers him – he repeats what he said with “I said” in front of it.

The first time I heard it, I thought I was hearing things. The 2nd time I almost spit out my drink. Now, I just want to jump for joy when I hear it – because not only is this more evidence that he’s aware of everything despite what it seems, but that he gets that when he wants something and it’s urgent that he get it, he strongly repeats himself with an “I said” in front of it.

Our kids are not dumb. That’s pretty damn smart.

After Nicholas got out of the chamber last night, and Daddy was changing him for bed, his stomach was all broken out in a red rash. When I came to look, his back also started looking the same. He had gotten into a bag of Cherrios-mix (kinda like Chex mix) and there’s peanut dust in there. So, I’m trying to figure out if the rash is:
1) Some kind of virus working it’s way out since we’ve been in the chamber quite a bit and I’ve been attacking yeast with alot of GSE
2) Yeast working it’s way out
3) A reaction to peanuts which I am not entire sure if he had or didn’t actually have
4) Someone at school came down with the chicken pox – Nicholas is outside the incubation period by several days and I’ve been keeping my eyes on him (and hoping we would just get this over with)
5) Detox rash (added 12/16) – sometimes when our kids detox, they can detox through the skin. The mercury coming out through the skin, in my understanding means that the liver and kidneys are congested. The liver and kidneys are the main filtration organs in the body. So as you detox, if the liver and kidneys are filtering at maximum capacity, the excess will come out through the skin as rashes or the lungs as cold/flu symptoms. So to help get rid of the rashes, you need to make sure the liver/kidneys are supported. I use BioRay’s Liver Life which helps to decongest the liver/kidneys, restore the pH, normalize liver enzymes, balance Phase I & II detox pathways and rejuvenate the liver cells. (Thanks to Tami at BioRay for that explanation)

We kept him up for a while and he seemed okay. Stomach seemed a little itchy, but he only scratched it here and there. I waited up 2 hours and had also given him benedryl and kept checking on him and he was okay. No problem breathing, etc. If I wasn’t coming down with something, I would have slept in his bed with him.

He’s still sleeping, so I have to report back and see if he still has the rash or if there is any change in his behavior today.

Rash is going away. Still there, but faint.

Things to note: We just tried to wake him up to get him on the school bus (they start earlier this week) – and we could not get him up and out of the house. He did get up though and he wanted to put his pajama top back on. When Daddy went out to tell the bus he wasn’t riding today, Nicholas put the shirt back on. This is the first time he put a shirt on without assistance. He had the head and body reversed, so he had to take it off and put it back on the right way, but this was certainly impressive.
He just came down and jumped on the couch and said “hi Max” to our dog who was lying on the floor in the livingroom. Nicholas has gone through spurts of paying attention to him and not – so I was surprised to see him say hi to him.

Rash is almost gone now.

Update 11/25 – Rash was gone earlier tonight before Daddy and Nicholas did a 3 hour hbot dive. Rash is back, so hbot has got to be helping with a virus or something that’s dying off. It wasn’t the peanuts afterall.

Update 11/26 – Rash has gone away a bit but is still there. Daddy and Nicholas are diving now, so we’ll see if it gets worse afterward or not.

Update 12/16 – Rash is completely gone. I added an additional dropperful of Liverlife and that seemed to have done the trick. (Now he’s up to the full liverlife dose of 4 dropperfuls a day) I also added back his glutathione lotion a few days later.

Update 12/26 – Removed Glutathione lotion several days ago – it was making him nuts. When I stopped it, he went back to normal.

Nicholas was working with his therapist who comes to the house earlier today and he was playing with her at our dining room table. I was sitting next to him because he wanted me to sit and play too, so I of course, obliged. He turns to me and says “I’m talking Mommy”

We were both a little taken back by that statement. I just said wow. I said, “yes, you are Nicholas and Mommy is so proud of you.”

Oh yeah, he’s in there – and I can’t wait for the day when he can tell me what this has all been like for him.

We met with Nicholas’s teacher and speech therapist today. We combined the parent/teacher conference with his IEP meeting.

From his teacher: Nicholas has made so many gains since school started in September that it will be difficult to list them all. He is so happy being back in class. He sits in the hall with his classmates and waits for everyone to come. (He would never do this last year) He greets the teachers and classmates looking right in their faces. During circle time, Nicholas comes when called and bounces on the vestibular ball. He is so proud of himself that he breaks into the biggest dimpled smile he can make. I can call him first, last or in the middle and he comes. He uses language to have many of his needs met. He will come up to some teachers and call them by name. He loves his friends and is playing in a parallel manner with them. He does color and paint spontaneously this year enjoying the process.

Nicholas’s Goals and Objectives from last year have all gone from Introduced to Progressing, Progressing + and Mastered. She notes mastered skills: Accept and Follow simple rules, identify body parts, fit things together and take them apart, locate objects within the environment and accept and follow simple rules. She notes progressing + skills as: improve attention and concentration, improve listening skills, increase understanding of spoken or signed words, single words, and continuous speech, being to respond meaningfully to “no” “stop” “stand” “sit” “come here” etc. She notes progressing skills as: maintain eye contact with speaker, play with a variety of toys, improve self-help toilet skills. She has reintroduced objectives such as beginning to accept re-direction from adults and adjusts to new situations and to people and he has shown some progress in these areas as well.

He is showing trust in his teachers, demonstrating play skills with other children, follows classroom routines, follows classroom rules (most of the time). He observes objects and events with curiousity, explores cause and effect, uses writing tools, enjoys puzzles. He demonstrates basic locomotor skills such as running and jumping, he climbs up and down, he demonstrates throwing, catching and kicking, strengthens and controls small muscles in hands, uses tools for writing and drawing. He expresses himself using words, understands and follows simple oral directions, has been saying some 5 word sentences, can use language to get needs met, enjoys reading.

Areas of ongoing development include coordinating eye-hand movement and continuing to expand ability to answer “wh” questions.

From his speech therapist: Since the beginning of the 2008/9 school year, he is using significantly more words to communicate, he is following directions, and is willing to work with teachers during learning situations. She commented further that Nicholas is enjoying playing turn-taking games with her such as “mine” no “mine” no “mine”…. laughing the whole time. She commented that his speech has just exploded. He is progressing in all of his objectives with the exception of use of pronouns which has not been introduced as of yet.

Both of them seemed quite excited to report on Nicholas’s progress. Both said he was truly a different child from just one year ago. They reported that temper tantrums have ceased as we have witnessed at home. His teacher commented on how he’s so much more lovable this year as opposed to last year. He was lovable and affectionate then, but is much more now. She commented on when he’s done or bored with a task, he approaches her for a new task or toy to play with. She said he waits patiently in the specific area for the teacher or an aide to come assist him with opening up a new area such as the sandbox.