“Mommy, give me back my voice!”

Nicholas has gotten a little yeasty in the past week – we’ve had company, so he keeps stealing everyone’s sodas and by the time we’ve caught up to him, he of course has had way too much of it to drink.

Well, anyway – this past Friday, he was trying to tell me something and it wasn’t hard to tell he was stumbling over his words and that he was really having a hard time. He stopped mid-sentence and said, “mommy, give me back my voice. mommy, help me, I can’t talk”

I told him that mommy was working on it and that is what all of his vitamins were for – and that if he wants his voice back, he cannot drink soda as it makes him lose his voice and we would go get him his own special drink if he wanted.

We were stunned by this conversation. He has said things to me before that have made me know without a doubt that he knows what’s going on with him and how hard we’re working to set him free from all of this. But this just blew me away – and hearing him say it was joyful agony – truly. I was thrilled that he got it and sad for him all at the same time.

Nicholas, I promise you – I will give you back your voice (permanently) if it is the last thing i do.

Added July 26, 2009 – Tonight, Nicholas said – “Mommy, I got my voice back” – he was much clearer today (I upped his yeast protocol) and still his same typical happy chatty self.

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11 Responses to ““Mommy, give me back my voice!””

  1. Wendy says:

    I am so glad he is doing better. I posted this on my facebook. I hope that is okay. I wanted to share it so some people on my list could see it. This makes me hurt to think Chloe is in there and can’t get out but I firmly believe she will be free of this one day…..hope they all are.

  2. Mom says:

    Thanks Wendy! Of course I don’t mind. I agree – it makes me hurt when I think of how he must feel saying something like this. It was one of those moments in life that I will remember forever. Like I said on facebook, it truly inspired us. (I’m so glad I had witnesses for him saying all of this!) We are still a little bit shocked at what he said and it brings both tears of joy and heartache. It is so bittersweet. I totally agree with you – our kids are in there being held prisoner hearing and seeing everything even though we we may not think we are getting through sometimes and I know I have had those moments. Chloe will be free one day, I know she will – she has an awesome warrior mom fighting for her. This made me think of all of the kids who aren’t being helped because their parents just don’t know – and it was a good reminder to me as well as inspiration to think about just how lucky kids like Nicholas and Chloe are to have parents like us who fight to give our kids their voice.

  3. alicia says:

    It’s so true they know we are fighting for them! And they know it helps, why else would our sweet children swallow the horrible things we concoct for them. I am always amazed Caleb will open his mouth for a syringe or eat the latest concaction. I am curious what you upped for the yeast protocol. While chelating I’ve been giving Nystatin, Enhansa 475mg, caprilic acid alternating with Oil of oregano, and he’s still a little yeasty. Yeast wants to steal their voices, it’s so true, I hate yeast!!

  4. valicea1977 says:

    Hi Michelle!
    I am so glad he is doing better now, this made me cry because I read a lot about Nicholas and all his progresses and all that make me feel close to him, I also know how hard you work for him. Keep fighting Michelle!!!! Wish you the best!

  5. maya says:

    poor baby ~ i cant imagine what he must be going through but he is going to be fine because his mommy loves him so much and will do anything to bring his voice back !

  6. Mom says:

    Alicia – It is so true!!! I increased the enhansa from 900mg to 1200mg. I also added amla during his round as I had read it can also be anti-fungal (not really sure about that though)

  7. Mom says:

    Vanessa – thank you so much!! It made me cry too – but a good kind of cry – because it shows how far we’ve come. But agony because it hits you because then you know that they know more than you thought they knew.

  8. Mom says:

    Thank you Maya!!! I really appreciate that!!

  9. Mom says:

    Thanks everybody!! Nicholas has been doing so much better. We’re not 100% out of yeast-ville yet, but we’re getting there.

  10. autismsbitch says:

    This is awesome! Language is my favorite recovery piece. 🙂

  11. Mom says:

    Thank you — It definately is mine too!! 🙂

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